NFL Free Pick AFC West

MIAMI DOLPHINS -4 over Kansas City Chiefs

Man, the Chiefs just give you a reason to go absolutely bat-crap crazy once a week. They allowed a billion points in eleven minutes and botched every conceivable moment of the closing quarter against San Diego last weekend. Now a team that has excellent ball control, a savvy offensive gameplan, and an emerging young receiver who’s at his “Bess” ready to roll through a defense that can’t get off the field unless four of their eleven starters collectively have heart attacks. Not a good sign.

Furious warning: This is Miami’s first cold weather game of the year. Nothing to be too excited about, but just a warning. Not all cold weather games are won by the winter warriors. Seriously, the Chiefs are awful. Really, really awful. Go with the Dolphins, who have a strong 4-1 ATS record in their last 5 games on the road.

JAY CUTLER -7 over J.P. Losman

Whenever J.P. Losman is in control of an offense, you turn and run away as fast and far as you can. Or, in this case, you just bet on whomever he’s playing. This is a lucky matchup for Denver, which will need to capitalize on the ineptitude of the Bills, 1-7 SU in their last 8 games, to keep pace in the “heated” AFC West race for the playoffs. I say “heated” because is by far the worst division ever assembled.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers -3 over SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

I really don’t know what’s worse. The idea of Jeff Garcia at quarterback with a Cadillac Williams who looks about 65% of the way there, and a defense that just got punched in the stomach with the news that their DC is leaving to go hang out with his son in college. Or the fact that San Diego needed God to intervene to help them beat the worst team in the NFL.

Also, a fun little fact. This year’s Superbowl is in Tampa Bay. The Superbowl that Tampa Bay won was in San Diego. If you’re like me, and are totally drunk on a Friday afternoon because you thought that carrying over the drunken tomfoolery of last night was better than enduring a hangover, than you’ll find meaning in that astute little observation.

SAGE ROSENFELS -7 over Oakland Raiders

I’m down with the Sage Rosenfels jokes. Honestly, I’m just bitter that he left the annex of Miami because it was too perfect of a fit. A young, up and coming Jewish quarterback playing in a town filled with retired Jewish people – the comedy rights itself.

Fortunately, Oakland has been just as amusing. Worst offense ever. Worst defensive coaching. They have a guy with zero head coaching experience trying to salvage a three-win season and they’re putting up 14.6 points per game and have a 2-6 ATS record in their last 8 games. I don’t know about you, but if I were an Oakland fan I wouldn’t even be excited for next season. You know you’re just going to screw up another draft pick, waste a ton of money in free agency, and everyone and their mother will make fun of Al Davis reverting in to the Cryptkeeper again. But who cares, really? I just wonder if Roger Goddell whispers, “We made the tuck rule up on the spot” in to Al Davis’ ear just to invoke some sort of stroke to put the Raiders out of their misery somewhere down the line. Hey, at some point you have to put human feelings out of the way to make the hard choices. Or maybe I’ve just been watching way too much Dexter lately. Seriously though…that’s a great f’n television show. You should watch it.